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Safety Planning in Situations of Woman Abuse

Safety During an Explosive Incident

If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area that has access to an exit. Avoid the bathroom, kitchen or anywhere near weapons
Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, elevator, or stairs would be safe and easily accessible
Have a packed bag ready. Keep it in a secret but accessible place in order to leave quickly
Identify a neighbour you can tell about the violence and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home
Make up a code word to use with your children, family, friends, and neighbours when you need the police
Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will need to)
If the situation is very dangerous, use your own instinct and judgement to keep yourself safe. Call the police as soon as it is safe to do so. You can obtain a restraining order.

"You Have The Right Not To Be Abused In Your Relationship, Physically, Emotionally Or Sexually!"

Safety When Preparing to Leave

Identify who would let you stay with them or lend you some money
Always try to take your children with you or make arrangements to leave them with someone safe
Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, and extra clothes with someone you trust
Open a savings account in your own name to start, establish, or increase your independence. Think of other ways to increase your independence
Keep the shelter numbers close at hand and keep change or a calling card with you at all times
Review your safety plan with a friend or counsellor in order to plan the safest way to leave your batterer

Safety in Your Home

Inform neighbours and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see your abuser near your home
Rehearse a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them
Inform your children's school or day care about who has permission to pick up your children. (Give them a copy of your restraining order)
Change/Add locks on your doors and windows as soon as possible. Add a peephole and increase outdoor lighting if possible. Try to borrow a portable or cellular phone
Change your telephone number, and make sure it is unlisted. Don't give it to anyone you don't trust

Safety with a Restraining Order

Keep your restraining order with you at all times. Leave extra copies at work, with a friend, in your car, etc.
Call the police if your partner breaks the court order
Think of alternative ways to keep safe if the police do not respond right away
Inform family, friends and neighbours that you have a restraining order in effect
Try to avoid places in the community your batterer may frequent

Your Safety & Emotional Health

If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust
If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so
Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs
Plan to attend a support group to gain support from others and learn about the law and your rights
Decide who you can call freely and openly to give you the support you need
Read books, articles and poetry to help you feel stronger
Collect resources and pamphlets concerning Woman Abuse

Safety on the Job and in Public

Decide who at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office or building security (provide a picture of your batterer if possible)
Arrange to have someone screen your telephone calls if possible
Identify a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car, bus or train. Use a variety of routes to go home if possible. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home

"The Most Dangerous Time Is When You Leave"

If you are a teen in a violent dating relationship

If things in your relationship don't feel right to you, talk about it with someone you trust
Decide which friend, teacher, or relative, you can go to in an emergency
Contact the police to learn how to obtain a restraining order and make a safety plan

For more information about services available to you call: "Assaulted Women's Helpline" at 416-863-0511

Prepared by Abuse Woman Council of Toronto: "Safety Planning in Situations of Woman Abuse"

"You Should Never Feel Afraid In Your Relationship"

"No Means No!"